There's a Fine, Fine Line

For those of you unfamiliar with the delightful musical "Avenue Q," the rest of the lyrics are "between a lover and a friend... between love and a waste of your time." And for whatever reason, it is in that mood that I am writing today.

Disclaimer: Katie has been reading romance novels for the past week or so. Has also been watching every romantic comedy she owns, and some that she doesn't. (Read: Blockbuster, not theft) This was, of course, before the Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday. But I digress...

Despite my dislike of "When Harry Met Sally" as a movie, the more I think about it, the more I can't help but wonder if the premise of it is true, that it's virtually impossible to be friends with a member of the opposite sex without at some point wanting to be more than friends. Looking back at most of my friendships with men, in many cases I instigated the friendship with the original intent of moving to the dating level. This was, of course, before I realized that once one is in the Friend Zone, it's virtually impossible to successfully transition to the Girlfriend Zone without some serious issues, and almost immediate regression to the Friend Zone. (Ladies and gentlemen, Katie's version of The Zone life plan.) In those instances that started out as friendships without ulterior motives, and there have been some, at one point or another I have been sucked into thinking in terms of romance, though these are far more fleeting than such thoughts in the original scenario.

*I would like to point out to certain readers that the fact that I only feel this way about men, and have never faced such problems as attraction within friendship with any of my female friends is just further reinforcement that I am simply unlucky in love, and not an unacknowledged lesbian. Not that I wouldn't be a damn fine lesbian if I were one. Cedars and all.*

Was there a point to all of this? I'm not quite sure. I was just trying apply the theory to my own life, and it worked a little too well. Admittedly, Harry never addresses the other permutation of the female/male one-sided attraction, but that could be a function of the time in which the movie was made, in which the only acceptable attractions were XY mutuals (X hearts Y who hearts different X)...Regardless, I may have freaked out some of my male friends, which, while vaguely amusing, was not my original intent. If this applies to you, gentle reader, just assume that you are in the category of "Good friend. Good smile, nice ass. Good friend." Fleeting, simple, objective. The attraction, not the friendship.

Right, now that I've managed to alienate myself, let alone anyone who's read this, I'm going to shower and then fill out a sub application. Of the teaching, not the Uboat, variety.

Song of the moment: NOT what you would think, though same musical. "You Can Be As Loud As the Hell You Want To" ~Avenue Q

Not so much the Land of the Lost, really, but more like the Land of Vision.

Now, before anyone starts getting up in arms, either to mock Vision or to defend it, I would just like to say that it was an amazing experience for me. I had some realizations there that I'm not sure I would have come to had I not been at vision. I also think that it is an amazing experience for teenagers who are willing to let it change their lives, and I know that because in some of them I saw it happening. This observation is of course no guarantee that things will change in their "real" lives, anymore than the profound experience will change me permanently unless I allow myself to change. But the potential and the desire are there, and all I need is committment.

This whole spiel may seem really cryptic to those of you who don't know what Vision is. Well, a rudimentary rundown of it can be found here. If you want more information that that, you're going to have to call me. Hah! Internet stalkers thwarted again!

But now Vision is over. I have been staying at a friend's house for about a week, with the exception of a minibreak I took to Illinois (or Illinwah!) to perform in a concert with Nicholas. The concert actually went really well, right down to the costume change. (I got to wear two different formal gowns in two hours. How posh is that?) Only a couple of problems, mostly having to do with forgetting words that I never forget. This included forgetting an entire line from a song "I Remember It Well." Is that irony, or is that irony? It's friggin' certifiable irony, it is.

As for the house sitting, it's far too lazy. I have my stuff strewn all over creation because I'm sorting what I really need from what I could send home to use at Christmas from my charitable donations. Sounds like an odd time to be doing this, but having tried to shove my life into my car twice in the past three months, I'm getting a little tired of having to make multiple trips or sacrifice being able to see out my car windows. Hence the downsizing. That, and I don't need a bunch of clothes that are two sizes smaller than what I am currently wearing unless I plan on being that small before Christmas, which would be unhealthy. With a healthy weightloss program, though --mostly including single helpings of everything and some walking--I should be down there right around time for Christmas vacation, so sending them home is only logical.

To keep from boring everyone who's ever loved me enough to read this, I'm going to stop now. I warn you that it will likely not be very interesting reading until we get back to school and I start doing some decent reading. Or at least having some good drama in my life. Not to say I haven't had that, because I have, but it's not so painless as to be available for public consumption.

That said, song of the moment: "Waiting in Vain," Annie Lennox

Illinwah!

Well, ladies and gents, I am in Illinois for the better part of this week, and thusfar have had a maaahvelous time. Amazing things that have happened:

I was an hour late leaving campus because I fell asleep. Lame? Yes. Me? Also yes. Perhaps even very yes.

I managed to make it from the I80 to Nicholas's house without having to call for directions. It was ridiculous. I practically get lost on the way to the shower, but was able to remember how to get here from our trip at Thanksgiving.

Dinner was great last night, and then we picked cherries. It felt very patriotic, to be picking cherries on the 4th of July weekend. I spent the entire time lying. Not really.

Now, off to shop. Will update later. Love this family.